a curse! and a recipe for shepherd's pie
sometimes winning... is losing
I won! And then I was in the bottom! The winning-the-task-challenge-to-being-in-the-bottom-for-the-test-challenge curse lives on this week, and I’ve gotta tell you… I didn’t love it!
As always, if you’re just here for the recipe, skip to the bottom for a very delicious (if not entirely pretty) shepherd’s pie for one. If you want the dish on this week’s episode, here we go!
What’s there to say about episode seven? Well, for one, I got to wear my roommate/best friend/platonic life partner Joe’s GRAND-MA shirt on TV, so that was a nice way for him to find out where his shirt went.
And then we were off to the races, cooking global cuisine for a very special lunch for our imaginary children. I’ve gotta say, having Molly as a judge was incredible. Having Dan back in the kitchen was obviously a delight, but Molly was such a fun twist. She’d been at ATK forever, and it was amazing to have someone with such a sharp perspective and kind, thoughtful feedback on our food.
People have asked me a lot whether the timing on the show is real, and let me tell you… it’s realer than real, baby. Jeannie turns her little timer, and you’ve just gotta dive in. It’s wild to think about how much we each got done in the allotted time—“trust your gut” takes on a new meaning in the test kitchen. Most of the time, your first instinct is all you have time to work with. And you better hope you’ve got good instincts!
In this case, at least for the first challenge, I did. I decided on a sushi bake bento box and never looked back. Had I ever made it before? Literally, no. Did it sound fun as hell? Absolutely. Is it the kind of thing I’d be excited to open my lunchbox and find if I was a kid? You bet your ass.
It was so good Dan said he wanted to be my kid. Allow me to say, on the record, I would adopt Dan tomorrow if he were still interested. Dan, if you’re reading this, I know a couple of lawyers, so the ball’s in your court!
With high highs come low lows, and well, you know what happens next.
I will say I’m so happy I got to cook with Robbie for this episode. I really did black most of the entire experience out, like, the entire show, not just this episode, but watching us talk about gorgeous nachos and then bending over to find our ingredients and saying “I love you” to each other made my heart sing. Here’s a cute lil montage of all our moments together.
As for how I paired everyone else up and assigned their proteins, well, your guess is as good as mine. To Christina and Marc, the vegetarian, I gave chicken breast? Sure. Antoniette and Brooke got bacon. Antoniette had made some bomb-ass bacon, bacon jam, bacon pasta—and then I find out Brooke is kosher. You’re just gonna have to believe me when I say I really, truly didn’t know! And if you don’t believe me, well, I guess that’s fine. Brooke and I have laughed a lot about it since she left, so as long as she’s not mad at me, I’m alright with it.
The rest of the episode basically felt like this:
Something that you didn’t see was that Robbie had initially asked me to pickle some radishes for his nachos. Part of the challenge was that we had to help prepare something for our teammate’s dish. So, I ran into the pantry and… not a radish in sight. Not a single one.
Garrett, you might find yourself thinking, certainly you could have found something else to pickle. Rember in episode two when you pickled like, I don’t know, seventy-four different things? No, no, I didn’t remember that. Red onions. Shallots. All of them were there, but instead of pickling one of them, I just ran out of the pantry and screamed, “THERE ARE NO RADISHES” into Robbie’s face.
In the end, I sliced and limed his avocado. And no, that isn’t a euphemism. And he was in the top! And I was in the bottom. Did anyone else see my lip quiver right before they announced who was going home? Devastating! But real! I was like… I cannot go home for shepherd’s pie! I simply cannot! And, well, thankfully, I didn’t.
For what it’s worth, they said my pie was well-seasoned and tasted good. It was just soft. Shepherd’s pie is a famously soft food! I guess it also lacked the “Garrett flair,” which is feedback that I will allow myself to delusionally process as a hidden compliment.
And just like that, we’ve got ourselves a top five. This is where things really start to get interesting, girls, so buckle up!
shepherd’s pie for one
This is shepherd’s pie for one. Listen, I think everyone should be able to cook themselves one nice, warm, comforting, and, yeah, maybe not very pretty weeknight meal. Just something nice enough to tell your body and soul, hey, I care about you, so here’s a little kiss. With pie.
I’m gonna suggest some ingredients you might not have in your pantry but that I think belong there. This is a great reason to get them because you’ll use them in other things. I Promise. And now you’ll have them on hand the next time you want to make shepherd’s pie for one.
shepherd’s pie for one: ingredients
1/4 lb ground beef: I use 85% ground beef, meaning it’s 85% beef, 15% fat. I like to control the amount of fat in this because I don’t want to have to drain it. You can go with 75% if that makes you happier. You can also skip the meat here and add more veggies to make this vegetarian (just add more oil or butter) or use your favorite meat substitute.
1 medium parsnip, diced: You could also use one medium carrot, a small turnip, or another root veggie of your choice.
a handful of green beans, stems removed, and cut into 1/2 inch pieces: At my market, you can just grab a handful of green beans and pay for what you need. I wouldn’t recommend counting them, but it’s probably, like, 15-20 beans. If you can only buy prepackaged, get the smallest one available.
1 shallot, finely diced: You could also use 1/4 of a white onion, but if you can grab one shallot, that’ll do.
1/2 bunch fresh dill, roughly chopped (using most of the stems): I had half a bunch of dill at home, so that’s what I used. Having a half bunch of fresh herbs is a great reason to make this recipe. You could also use a half bunch of flat-leaf parsley. Because you’re only using half, unless you think you’ll use the rest at some point before it goes bad, you could just substitute a tablespoon of dried oregano or rosemary here if you’ve got it on hand. No food waste!
2 medium Yukon gold potatoes, chopped: This isn’t optional. This is for the mashed potato portion of the dish, and you cannot beat the easy, creamy texture of the Yukon gold here. I don’t even peel them! Hello!
2 tbsp sour cream: This is also for the mashed potato portion of the evening. If you don’t have sour cream (crazy) and don’t want to buy it for this (buy it, everyone should always have sour cream in their fridge), you can use some butter and cream, or just butter, or just cream. You could also use greek yogurt. But, like, get some freaking sour cream.
2 tbsp grated parm: This is my preferred cheese here. I’ve always got parm in the fridge. Obviously, freshly grated is best but work with what you’ve got. If you have another shredded cheese available, go for it.
1 tbsp flour: You’ve got flour. Right?
1 tsp Better than Bouillon: Ok, this is the first of two things I think you really should by if you don’t have it. BtB is, like, the greatest thing to happen for home cooks since, like, ever. I used the veggie one here. You can use whatever one you think you’d like, you really can’t go wrong. But buy a jar and keep it and use it all the time always. If you don’t want to buy it, that’s also fine. Just use a cup of your favorite broth or stock.
5-10 dashes Worcestershire sauce: This is the other thing I think you really should have. It’s a secret ingredient in the best Bloody Mary. It’s a secret ingredient in the best everything, really. I love it. I think you’ll love it. If you’d rather not, you can use a combo of soy sauce and a little vinegar to give it that umami/shart knockout bite.
shepherd’s pie for one: method
First things first: Preheat your oven to 450. Then prep your veg. Chop the potatoes into cubes. Peel and dice the parsnip (think like, the size of what a frozen carrot in a bag might be). Destem the green beans and chop those too. Dice your shallots and your fresh herbs (if using).
Next, put your potatoes in a medium pot of very salted water and bring it to a boil. Let it boil while you do everything else. You don’t need to wait for it to boil to start the next step, just let her do her thing.
In a large (I used a 10-inch cast iron) skillet, put a tablespoon of oil (I used canola, you can use whatever you have) on high heat. Once it’s hot, drop in your ground beef and season generously with kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper. You want to try and create some browning here, so don’t mess with it too much. It should be cooked and browned in 3 or so minutes. Using a slotted spoon, remove the beef and set it aside.
Turn the heat down to medium. If you used 85% here, there shouldn’t be that much fat left. In fact, you might need to add a bit more oil. Whatever the case is, add the shallots and let them sweat out for like two minutes. Use the liquid they release to scrape up the brown bits (it’s called fond!) at the bottom of the pan.
Next, add your parsnips. Cook for 3-4 minutes, you still want them to have a little bite (it’s not that soft of a food!). Next, add the green beans and cook for another two minutes.
Assess your oil situation again. If it’s looking dry, add another tablespoon or so.
Now you’re ready to create your sauce. Add the flour to the pan and get the vegetables all coated. You’re making a sort of roux here so that when you add your liquid, it’ll thicken into a gravy. But cook the flour for two or three minutes to get out that raw flour taste.
Turn the heat down to low and add your Better than Bouillon, followed by a cup of water. Here’s where things get interesting. The veggie mixture should thicken instantaneously. Stir everything to incorporate it all and get it homologized.
Too thick? Add a little more water. To thin? Let it cook a bit longer. It should be a thick gravy.
At this point, add the herbs, beef, and Worcestershire sauce. Once it’s all incorporated, give it a taste. I’d probably add a bit more salt here and a lot of freshly ground black pepper. Once it tastes good to you, turn off the heat. It’s time for potatoes!
That’s right, by now, your potatoes should be ready! You shouldn’t even be able to fork one because it should fall right off the fork it’s so tender.
Drain your potatoes but keep like a quarter cup of the starchy salty water. Put your potatoes back in the pot with a bit of the water and 2 tbsp of sour cream (or whatever you’re putting in your potatoes), and go to town with a fork.
The beauty of the Yukon gold here is that after about two minutes of mixing, you should have creamy, mostly-smooth, delicious mashed potatoes. Season with pepper and a tablespoon of parm (or whatever cheese you’ve got). Taste for seasoning, but these babies should be good to go.
Assembly!
I’ve got an oven-safe ramekin (pictured above) that holds all the mixture, leaving about an inch of room for the potatoes to pile on top. You could use a small pie tray, a tiny break loaf, a little cast iron. Basically, anything you can put in the oven that will hold all the beef and veggie mixture and most of the potatoes.
Fill your vessel up and pile on the mash. You’re probably not going to be able to get all the potatoes in or on, and that’s ok. This is what we call a chef’s treat! A little snack for you to enjoy while your pie is in the oven.
Once everything is assembled, sprinkle on your remaining cheese and a few cracks of black pepper. I’d recommend putting your dish on a baking sheet before putting it in the oven, just in case there’s any spillage. Then, put her in the oven! 450 for 7-10 minutes—just until your cheese on top is browned.
Now, sit back, relax, and enjoy your dinner, baby! You made shepherd’s pie. You did it! I always knew you had it in you. And now you do, or will soon. Ok, this is getting weird I’ve gotta go.
Love you, bye!
Garrett
ILYSM!