nine-spice ribs!!!! (and a parsnip and sweet potato puree)

one is vegan and one is literally just meat—I contain multitudes!

Hello lovers,

The sun set at 5:07 p.m. yesterday. I am sad!!!!! I am very sad about that! I have yet to understand why we continue to change time. Time is fine the way it is when the sun sets later. In fact, I love time when it’s that way. It’s the best way for time to be. No questions, no notes. 

I could very well sink into a kind of melancholy pool of ennui. I could loaf around and find a dark little corner of my house to crawl into and fold myself into a weighted blanket like a crab rangoon and try and swallow my SAD lamp and pray that it lights me up from the inside out. I’ve thought about it! 

Instead, I’ll tell you about five nice things that have brought me some joy during these dark, dark days. Then I’ll give you a recipe for nine-spice ribs and sweet potato parsnip puree. Ribs and root vegetables? The cure for most things, I think!

1. virgo supperclub is so, so back! Sad Girls Club was a smashing success! We’re posting pics of all the courses (one being…… ribs with sweet potato and parsnip puree!!) on Instagram—here’s the full menu. 

   

2. These two songs (1 & 2) have given me a reason to dance alone in my room, and for that, I am incredibly thankful.

3. Speaking of songs that have given me a reason to dance… my sweet friend Wyn released a song. And I was in the music video. Here’s a little bit of it: 

   pattiegonia

   

   A post shared by @pattiegonia

4. My book proposal is done! It’s out in the universe! As I type, my agent, who I think is the best agent in the entire world, is trying to sell it to a publisher who will hopefully love it as much as we do. Cross your fingers, say a prayer, blow a kiss to the moon and make a big wish (or whatever it is you do when you want something nice to happen)—eeee!!!

5. This poem by Alex Dimitrov. Honestly, most poems by Alex Dimitrov, but this one in particular recently. Especially this part: 

We have to be people! Long dinners extend life! It’s true! We do have to! They do that! I think the more time we spend at dinner, the less time we have to look at our phones or realize the sun has set or contemplate going to grad school or waste time doing whatever else is inevitably trying to kill us in some insidiously surreptitious way. 

Long live long dinners! 

Speaking of which—here’s a recipe for a long dinner should you feel so inclined. They can be enjoyed together, but they don’t have to be. Pairing a totally vegan side with a giant slab of meat? Sounds exactly like something I would do. Enjoy!

parsnip and sweet potato puree: ingredients

• 2 medium-sized parsnips, peeled and cubed (about .5 lbs or 4 cups of parsnip when chopped)

• 1 medium sweet potato, peeled and cubed (about 3 cups when chopped)

• 1 tablespoon kosher salt 

• ¼ teaspoon nutmeg 

• ½ teaspoon fresh ground white pepper (you can use black pepper if you don’t want to buy white pepper, but I think having white pepper around is nice!) 

• 1 14 oz can full-fat coconut milk

parsnip and sweet potato puree: method

1. Peel and chop your parsnips and sweet potato. The chopping doesn’t have to be exact, but small chunks will help them cook faster, and I think that’s good! 

2. In a medium saucepan, combine all ingredients. Add enough water just to barely cover the veggies—I needed one cup of water. 

3. Bring to a boil and reduce to a simmer. Cook uncovered until the veggies are totally fork-tender, about 10 to 15 minutes. 

4. Carefully pour everything into a blender and blend until totally smooth. Taste for seasoning and adjust accordingly. If you’re about to eat, you can plate them now! Or, transfer back into the pot and reheat on the stovetop over medium-low when you’re ready. 

   

nine-spice ribs: ingredients

That’s right, nine spices! It’s a lot, but, as I am wont to say, I do think it’s worth it. They all do their own thing, and they all bring something special to the party. Also, once you have them all, I think you can find fun things to do with them outside of this recipe. More spices in the pantry, more things to do with them (or something like that). 

• 2 racks (~3.5-4 lbs total) of baby back ribs (my dad always uses baby backs, and I am my father's kid, so I do too—if you have another favorite, do that!) 

for the rub

• 3 tablespoons Dijon mustard (any mustard is fine, but you know I love Dijon)

• 2 teaspoons ground clove

• 2 teaspoons smoked paprika (you can use not-smoked, but, yeah)

• 2 teaspoons ground ginger

• 2 teaspoons cinnamon 

• 2 teaspoons cayenne 

• 2 teaspoons fresh ground white pepper (once again, black pepper is fine!)

• 2 teaspoons nutmeg 

• 2 teaspoons cardamon 

• 2 teaspoons chipotle chili flakes (you can also use crushed red pepper flakes) 

• 1 tablespoon kosher salt

• 2 tablespoons dark brown sugar 

for the sauce 

• 1 cup hoisin sauce 

• 1.5 tablespoons above spice mixture

• 3 tablespoons rice vinegar (you can use white vinegar or red wine too)

nine spice ribs: method

1. Make your spice mixture. Combine all spices (not salt and sugar!). I can only ever find whole cardamom pods and whole white pepper, so if you’re like me, you might have to grind some of your spices. If you don’t have a spice grinder, use a mortar and pestle. If you don’t have that, put them in a plastic bag and beat the hell out of them with a pan. Measurements are after they are ground, not before. 

2. After your spices are mixed, reserve 1.5 tablespoons (this will be for your sauce). Add the sugar and salt to the remaining mixture and mix well. 

3. Preheat your oven to 250 degrees and prep your ribs. You’ll need to remove the membrane, especially if you’re using baby back ribs. If you don’t know what that means, here’s a helpful tutorial! Be brave! Get dirty! You can do it! 

4. After your ribs are prepped, coat each rack with 1.5 tablespoons of mustard, top and bottom, front and back, all the way around. Next, season with your spice-sugar-salt mixture. I use basically a tablespoon per side. It’s a lot, but it’s worth it. 

5. Wrap your ribs in aluminum foil and put them on a baking sheet. Depending on your foil situation, you might need two pieces. They need to be completely wrapped! Also, this is a little push to buy the good aluminum foil. You know, the thick stuff. I was a skeptic for a long time because I’m cheap. But it’ll change your life. 

6. Now roast’ em! For like three hours. Low and slow, baby! When you pull them out, the internal temp should be somewhere around 200, although pork is done at 160. They should basically be falling off the bone.

7. While your ribs roast, make your sauce. Combine all ingredients (hoisin sauce, spice mixture, vinegar) in a small pot and bring it to a simmer over medium heat. Once it starts simmering, turn it off and set it aside. You just want to heat the spices in the sauce so all the flavors have a chance to bloom. 

8. Once the ribs are done, carefully unwrap them and then transfer them back to the baking sheet. Heat your broiler on high. Coat the ribs with the sauce on both sides, return them to the oven meat side up, and broil (5ish minutes)! Watch them closely. You don’t want them to burn. You just want the sauce to get a little caramelization going!

9. Now slice, garnish, and serve. Personally, I like to spread the parsnip puree on a serving tray, slice and arrange the ribs in a way that makes me happy, drizzle on any remaining sauce, and throw something green on there (scallions, chives, cilantro—all great options!). You do what makes you happy. Eat them off the baking sheet with your hands and dunk them in the parsnip puree standing over the kitchen sink. Live your dreams! The sun is setting at 5, nothing matters anymore!!

Until next time,

Garrett