very controversial pasta salad

it's time for lots of garlic and changing everything about yourself!

I just want everyone to know that I’ve tried to write this newsletter several times. And by “tried to write this newsletter,” I mean that I’ve thought, “You know, I should really write a newsletter” three times a day since Christmas. And look, here I am, finally doing it!

What have I been doing every day since Christmas instead of writing this newsletter? Well, since you asked… I finished reading Family Meal by Bryan Washington, which was lovely. I also started reading Bellies by Nicola Dinan, which I like but don’t love, yet. I saw Saltburn and Poor Things, and I feel the same way about them that I do about Bellies. I also saw All of Us Strangers, which I absolutely loved. Like, love love love love loved. I laughed, I cried, I was surprised—so many things I always want! You should go see that movie. I also spent a lot of time with my family and went to the Orange Bowl, which is a football game, in case you didn’t know that.

As it’s less than a week into the new year as of the time I’m writing this (I know it’s over two weeks into the new year, but I took another break after I wrote the first draft and saw some more movies and read another book and laid in the park, I’m sorry!!), I’ve been being very good and very good to myself. I’ve spent less time on my phone and more time reading. I’ve been stretching every morning and every night (huge brag), and I’ve not been drinking or smoking (even huger brag).

I’m a big believer in New Year’s resolutions and, by extension, attempting to make enormous changes and reshape your entire life overnight. Maybe it’s because I’m an optimist, or because I’m delusional, or because sometimes those are the same thing, but the symbolism of a fresh year really does something for me. I loved being a shitlord most of November and all of December. I loved having somewhere between four to nine martinis a week and having a slice of cake or ice cream every night. I loved staying out so late that I saw the sunrise a couple of times. And I love that I’ve been in bed by nine and up by five-thirty since January first.

Is it sustainable? Probably not. Is a healthy medium somewhere in between? Girl, duh. Will I get there? Yes! I’m just having fun being fresh and new and dreaming of the next self I’m going to become. And speaking of the next self I’m going to become, while walking to the movies the other night (cinema is back, baby!), I encountered the opposite of who I’m trying to be.

As I was walking down the street, two people were crossing to opposite sides of the street on the crosswalk a block ahead of me. Even from my distance, you could see what was about to happen. One person was walking their dog on a leash, looking down at their phone, the other person had headphones in, also looking down at their phone. When they met in the middle, the dog’s leash wrapped around the approaching person’s legs.

Obviously, this is the beginning of a rom com. They both look up, surprised. They laugh. They apologize. They laugh some more. The dog barks. They exchange numbers. They fall in love. Blah blah blah.

Wrong! They both got so mad! The person who got wrapped in the leash started yelling. The person walking the dog got upset. When they walked away, the person who got wrapped in the leash stood in the middle of the crosswalk and continued to yell at the person walking the dog for a full fifteen seconds. I can’t remember the last time I yelled, much less yelled for fifteen seconds. Seriously, start a timer on your phone and try yelling for that long. It’s a long time!

Anyway, I was like, wow, that is… not who I want to be. I don’t want to be the person who yells at someone walking a dog when we’re both not paying attention. I want to be the person who falls in love with someone walking a dog when we’re both not paying attention. Or, at the very least, someone who’s like, hey, I didn’t enjoy getting wrapped up in that leash when I wasn’t expecting it. Hopefully, I didn’t scare you or your dog too much. Either way, cute dog, I hope you have a great day!

I don’t really know what the point of that story is, other than to say that I hope this year, if we get wrapped in a leash by someone walking their dog, or accidentally wrap someone up in a leash while walking a dog, that we give ourselves and the other person, and also the dog, a little bit of grace.

Check in with me in three months and see if I still feel this lightness; I really hope I do. I really hope you do, too.

Here’s some pasta salad.

very controversial pasta salad: ingredients

Every time I go home to South Florida, I have to order takeout from two places. One is Las Vegas, a Cuban spot that inspired this chicken recipe. The other is Dough Boys, an Italian place that has my favorite pasta salad of all time. It is extremely garlicky, and I love it so very much. Some people don’t like garlic, and so this is probably not for you. I’m sorry and I still love you and hopefully there will be something in the next newsletter for you to cook.

This is also a (partially) mayonnaise-based salad. I love mayonnaise-based salads. If you don’t like them, this also isn’t for you! Also, if you don’t like mayonnaise, you should, as my friend Lara says, grow up.

• 1 lb pasta: I used cavatappi—I love the shape, and I love the texture, it gives the dressing and the other ingredients things to get stuck in and latch on to, but you can use whatever shape you like best (just nothing long and stringy)

• 1 cup daikon radish matchsticks: if you can’t find a daikon radish, you can use whatever kind of radish you can find

• 1 cup sliced castelvetrano olives: if you can’t find castelvetrano olives, I’d use half a cup of capers!

• 2.5 tablespoons grated garlic: this took like five cloves of garlic, but the cloves of garlic I used were huge

• 1 cup whole milk ricotta: yum!

• 3/4 cup mayonnaise: grow up!

• 1/2 cup grated parmesan cheese: grated, not shredded (if you use store-bought instead of grating your own, I won’t tell anyone, I promise, and I think it’ll still be fine)

• 2 lemons, juiced

• 2 teaspoons kosher salt

• fresh cracked black pepper: to taste! I did 23 twists of my peppermill, but you do whatever makes you happy

• 1 bunch of chives: not necessary, but I like to finish it off with something green and mild (you could also use parsley or use nothing at all!)

  

  in order of appearance: huge garlic, radish planks, radish matchsticks

very controversial pasta salad: method

1. Grate your garlic, peel and slice your radishes, and slice the olives. If you don’t know how to cut matchsticks, here’s a little visual, but basically, cut the radish into planks and then into small strips. You don’t want them too thin, the crunch is important!

2. In a small bowl, combine the garlic, half the radishes, the juice of two lemons, and two teaspoons of salt. Toss and set aside. The acid will mellow the garlic just slightly, and pickle the radish a bit.

3. Assemble the rest of your dressing. Combine the ricotta, mayo, parmesan, and black pepper in a large bowl and set aside.

4. Cook your pasta in a pot of very salty water according to the package instructions. You want the pasta to be fully cooked, not al dente.

5. Drain your pasta and set aside. Add the garlic radish mixture to the dressing along with the remaining radish and the olives, mix well, and then add the pasta and mix well again. Mixing while the pasta is still hot will help it absorb the flavor of the dressing, and it will also make your kitchen smell like garlic, in a good way, I think!

6. It can be served right away or refrigerated for a picnic the next day or whatever you want. I love it cold, but it’s great right when it’s done. Garnish with thinly sliced chives or not at all—totally up to you! It’s very garlicky! Go kiss someone you love on the mouth right after a big bite <3

that olive looped around the noodle is not a paid actor, it did that on its own and I love it for that!!

Ok that’s all!! For now!! I (maybe) promise to be more prompt with this—I have lots of fun ideas and recipes I’ve been dreaming of, so as long as I don’t get caught in a dog leash and fall in love and run away to the mountains, they’ll be in your inbox soon. (But if I do get caught in a dog leash and fall in love and run away to the mountains, please know that it’s not personal. It’s just what I had to do.)

xx,

G